Advice, Awareness, Relationships

Lose it already…

The pressures that teenagers and even young adults go through when it comes to loosing their virginity is ridiculous. Guys get teased and taunted when their friends find out that they are still a virgin and the stress of that is massive. Even for girls, its no fun being the black sheep of the group.  When everyone else around them is having sex and they aren’t, people tend to think things. ‘Oh she’s a prude’ or ‘She must be religious or something’. No assholes. People are not obligated to give up their virginity just because they have hit a certain age bracket.

We get it people!! Just because you were fifteen when you lost it doesn’t mean everyone else has to either! For some people, sex is precious and meaningful. Its not just something you just go around giving to random people. To some people, its a memory they want to cherish for the rest of their lives.

Interesting enough, i am not one of those people. My virginity was just a word. It meant nothing to me. Being the horny little 17 year old i was, i was just waiting for the one guy i could trust to not completely fuck me over. Boy, that did not go as planned. The circumstances weren’t perfect and i should have thought it out thoroughly before doing the act, but at the time all i cared about was getting laid.

Not everyone is like me. Not everyone has that carefree mindset about life. Other’s take these things seriously and being comfortable in certain situations is very important. If she doesn’t feel comfortable with you touching her thigh, don’t do it. Don’t try to trick her and don’t push and push until she gives in.  If your girlfriend or boyfriend says no, you should respect their decision and back off.

My brother has a friend–lets call him T. He wants to wait. He feels like any sexual act should wait for the person he loves the most and trusts the most to give his all to. I find that so inspiring. Throughout all the countless teasing and many people at his school calling him gay, because he doesn’t want to feel a girl up, he’s stayed strong and positive. He is a really good kid and i see that with the mindset he is in that when he finally does want to loose his virginity, he will respect and care for the person his does it with.

Virginity is more than just a word to many people. It’s a part of them and losing a part of yourself is hard to do especially when you have a million voices telling you what YOU should do. Trust in yourself  and do what’s best for you. Ignore the ignorance and focus on what you want in life. Keep it as long as you want and give a big “Fuck Off” the the people who say Lose it already




13 reasons why–what if?

What if i had spoken to her at lunch that day? What if i had offered to be his friend? There are a lot of what if’s when its too late to actually do anything. I don’t know about all of the older generation, but i know my mother would not take me serious if i told her i wanted to kill myself. I guess its the attitude i have towards life or the front i put up.

No. No i don’t want to kill myself. But what if i did? Would anyone take me seriously? I asked my brother what he would say if i told him i wanted to and he said “You don’t. You’re too scared to do something like that.” He is totally right, but he’s just assuming. He doesn’t know or care what is going on in my head. He doesn’t know or care what i go through everyday.

Recently i watched the Netflix series ’13 reasons why’. A lot of people on social media warned everyone not to watch it, that it was horrifying, triggering and depressing. I think everyone should watch it because no one takes this seriously. Ive never met a more suicidal generation in my life. Most of today’s youth are so sensitive and sheltered to where they cant handle the what life throws at them anymore.

I once threatened to kill myself because my own mother called me a stupid slut on multiple occasions. Throughout my life, i don’t know how many times ive been called a blonde. Back forever ago, people meant that towards white blonde girls and i find that so offensive and im not even white.

Being called stupid because of the way my mind works killed my soul and my spirit just a little more each time. At times i didn’t even know how i could take all that negativity. That’s why i am so positive, that’s why i put on a front, so no one can see that things get to me. That’s why no one can tell if im depressed/suicidal or not.

That’s what many people go through today and nobody cares. They want to brush it under the rug until someone trips up and dust flies everywhere. What if we could prevent these useless deaths? What if we took our heads out of our asses and listened when people called out for help?

I think that is one really good reason to watch that show and read the book. They are raising awareness. They are trying. Now its our turn to help.